Thursday 24 April 2008

Reap no horn!

For the record the title is nothing more than an anagram. It bears little, if any, resemblance to the following verbosity. However, to give you the chance to work out what the anagram refers to, the following contain a series of clues. During the course of the build up to the Democratic Primary in Pennsylvania, the screenwriter responsible for 'Sleepless in Seattle', from which they earnt 12 minutes of fame suggested that the Democratic Primary election will determine whether White men are more racist or more sexist. Upon such questions are elections in the United States dependent. Healthcare? piffle. Budget deficits? pah. Social Security? who needs it? Alien invasions ? Pure tosh. Are they White and Male? Then wheel them in.
Anyway, it occurred to me that Ron Haprone (the H and E are silent), which is the aforementioned screenwriter's previous incarnation maybe. Let's face it, if you were a man and responsible for writing 'She's got Mail' (2 minutes of fame), would you want your friends to know? Thought not.
Then it occurred to me that he/she might be right. What if all the world's ills were caused by the inherent isms of White Men. Let's face it, most wars include an element of racism and failing to put the toilet seat down is undoubtedly sexist. You thoughtless oaf.
As a consequence of this revelation, I've decided to nominate Nora Ephron, for it is she, for President of the United States. There is no doubting the incisive social commentary that is 'She's got Mail' or the striking relevance of the need to bring the world closer together portrayed in 'Sleepless in Seattle'. Michael Moore should form the other half of the ticket. He did after all write 'Stupid White Men'. And when has he ever been wrong? Plus we'll need a White Man to get elected. However, once we've attained the most powerful position on the planet, we could get rid of him. A heart attack should do it. Then, sisters, the world will be our oyster. I don't want to explain this step by step but we will slowly rid the world of white men. We'll keep the black ones for obvious reasons.



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