Man's best friend.

Before we get onto the subject of this blog. The more observant of you will have noticed Precious' new hairdo. Precious is acutely aware of the mighty Millwall R.F.C.'s impending tour to Malta. Plus , you can hardly blame her for trying to attract a new mate - it can't be much fun having the same pair of testicles flapping about your saddle all and every day long.
Which brings me to the title. As you head North up the West Coast of the US, you are constantly aware of the need to duck under the snarling fangs of a variety of different dogs hitching lifts in the back of pick-up trucks. However, and this could easily be imagination, more and more of our canine friends are allowed to ride in the front passenger seat. More and more appear to have their driver's arm around them. On one occasion, a Chocolate Labrador was positively cuddling it's driver.
This will have got you thinking about what, exactly, have dogs down to earn the soubriquet, 'Man's best friend'. Of course there's their unquestioning loyalty, their protective instinct (those bred for fighting aside) and their damp smell. Given the attractive qualities we attribute to other mammals, particularly those found in Wales or New Zealand (Can you make a U-turn? No, but I coud make her eyes water.), there has never, so far as I know, been any hint of bestiality concerning our canine friends. And yet they're our best friend. Hmmm.
Where's his sanity? you're thinking. Has he finally cracked? You're almost certainly right - the official diagnosis is a matter of days away.
However, we breed, that is, genetically modify, some dogs in order to make them pretty. Crufts, which should hand out the 'Best in Show' to a Border Collie every year, routinely lauds a fluffy thing with a ribbon in it's coat. They even have a 'Toy' category for heaven's sake. Now what's the point of a dog that is incapable of being taken for a walk without pulling your shoulder out of it's socket in order to chase a rabbit?
There's no doubting our propensity to scratch them around their ears, the canine equivalent of whispering sweet nothings. We're all acutely aware of our dogs tendency to hump anything that wears polyester slacks, when aroused. They certainly aren't showing much shame - and why should they? I, for one, am certain that dog-lovers?!? are to be found in all corners of the globe. And who would've thought of rimming without their example? And why, pray, has the phrase, 'The Dog's Bollocks', come to mean what it does?
I'm not saying, as I pedal relentlessly into Oregon, and more and more dogs are to be found in the cab of pick-up trucks rather than the back, that men are more likely to be found conducting relationships with their dogs. It is almost certainly the weather. All I'm saying is we could all do a lot worse than a Chocolate Labrador. I know I have.

Curly fries: Crazy but true.

Curly fries - How do they do that ? And why ?

What do you want to be when you grow up ?

Here are some Coast Redwoods. As you can see, they're very big. They do, however, have one thing in common with Palm Trees. Answers via e-mail to fleximillion@aol.com and the first correct answer will win a still to be determined prize.

Dear Exalted Ruler

Dear Exalted Ruler,
we, the people of Crescent City, California, would like to extend an invitation to you to come visit our City. We are situated 5 miles South of Pelican Bay State Prison, which houses California's most incorrigible prisoners and 16 miles North of the 'Breathtaking' Trees of Mystery, home of a larger than life carving of Paul Bunyan (which bears no resemblance to Desperate Dan) and an accompanying carving of a cow (again there's no connection to Desperate Dan). Further afield you can visit both Mexico and Canada. We feel sure your transportation is both swift and timeless, however, the attractions of Crescent City itself should keep you occupied for an entire weekend. As you can see, we've reserved you a parking space.
We are the ONLY incorporated City in Del Norte County California. We boast a cute little Lighthouse (opens May through October), a harbour from which fishing boats depart to go fishing, a selection of Grocery stores including Safeway, Rays and The Grocery Outlet. In addition we have a gift shop which is both large and unique.
Furthermore, errr, that's it.
So whenever you find yourself with some free time on your hands, you can be sure of a warm welcome here in Crescent City - Where the land meets the sea, whatever your non-Catholic, Christian domination is (excluding The Church of the Latter Day Saints and it's polygamist off-shoots).
Regards,
The People of Crescent City.

Precious takes a room.

After a few days above and beyond the call of duty, Precious took a room at the beach. And it's a very good one at that. The back, via patio doors which open onto the sand, looks out over the Pacific and the setting sun. There's a Restaurant next door called, inevitably, The Beachcomber. The front casts it's eyes towards the mountains that you've just cycled over. The room has it's own bath. You are allowed to smoke and the Wifi is free. As an added bonus there's a free oiling service. Possibly, I can't say for sure that there isn't. In short the room has everything you could possibly want.
Availing yourself of the free facilities, to whit, the wifi. You find youself presented with the latest news from, would you believe it, Reno. Reno's residents have been bombarded recently with a number of tremors of ever increasing ferocity. That's a bit odd, you might think, geologically speaking. Normally, you get hit by a big one and then the tremors tail off having moved their load, so to speak. Girls the world over will know what I mean. Anyway, Reno's tremors are enough to dislodge your favourite brand Baked Beans from their Supermarket shelf and that, if I'm honest, is quite enough movement for one year. Excluding the ones caused by the beans. May I remind you that as I write this the Pacific's waves gently reclaim the sand not 20 metres away.
Reno's experiences are reported with a number a number of statistics. Here's just two. Oregon, a gentle morning's cycle away, is the 10th most likely State in the United States to host an Earthquake. California, the State I'm in, is the 2nd most likely. Thrill seekers should head to Alaska, where they can almost guarantee a tremor filled vacation. Remind me, how far away is the Ocean? Also, and I quote, "..there's a 99.7 percent chance that a strong earthquake will strike California in the the next 30 years..". No time like the present, I hear you cry. Looking on the bright side there's a 0.3 percent chance that it won't.
During the last two days, the highlight of most climbs has been passing the sign that says 'You have now left a Tsunami Hazard zone'. This happens whenever you've gone high enough to be able to record the devastation below with your mobile phone. The nearest high ground to this amost perfect Motel is, and I'm guessing, two miles. That's a gentle morning's sprint away. There are signs that help you judge when a Tsunami is on it's way. None, however, so far as I know, can be perceived when you're asleep.
So, on the off chance my sleep is disturbed by a cascade of gate-crashing water, I'm going to take the only option available to me, (I am in California after all), and buy a surfboard.
Sweet dreams everyone.

Oh no, not more math!

April 17 10:10.16 Santa Cruz to San Francisco 78.79 miles
April 20 4:25:27 San Francisco to Napa 45.06 miles
April 21 8:28.29 Napa to Cloverdale 63.26 miles
April 22 10:17.21 Cloverdale to Ukiah 35.47 miles oops don't forget to stop the clock!
April 23 3:43:52 Ukiah to Willits 24.18 miles
April 24 10:24.42Willits to Garberville 71.9 miles
April 25 10:26.37 Garberville to Arcata 84.82 miles
April 26 10:29.91 Arcata to Crescent City 72.74 miles
April 28 06:31:50 Crescent City to Gold Beach 60.93 miles
April 29 08:17:40 Gold Beach to Bandon 55.44 miles - see April 22
May 1 12:36:01 Bandon to Yachats 102.8 miles
May 2 9:4:39 Yachats to Pacific City 74.67 miles

It's Magic!

You may recall mention of Precious hard at work perfecting a magic trick - well here it is. How any bicycles do you know that can cycle through the middle of trees. Unfortunately she needed to hire an assistant, the lovely Nigel Webb, to pull it off. I do hope it doesn't spoil the snap.