Dear Exalted Ruler

Dear Exalted Ruler,
we, the people of Crescent City, California, would like to extend an invitation to you to come visit our City. We are situated 5 miles South of Pelican Bay State Prison, which houses California's most incorrigible prisoners and 16 miles North of the 'Breathtaking' Trees of Mystery, home of a larger than life carving of Paul Bunyan (which bears no resemblance to Desperate Dan) and an accompanying carving of a cow (again there's no connection to Desperate Dan). Further afield you can visit both Mexico and Canada. We feel sure your transportation is both swift and timeless, however, the attractions of Crescent City itself should keep you occupied for an entire weekend. As you can see, we've reserved you a parking space.
We are the ONLY incorporated City in Del Norte County California. We boast a cute little Lighthouse (opens May through October), a harbour from which fishing boats depart to go fishing, a selection of Grocery stores including Safeway, Rays and The Grocery Outlet. In addition we have a gift shop which is both large and unique.
Furthermore, errr, that's it.
So whenever you find yourself with some free time on your hands, you can be sure of a warm welcome here in Crescent City - Where the land meets the sea, whatever your non-Catholic, Christian domination is (excluding The Church of the Latter Day Saints and it's polygamist off-shoots).
Regards,
The People of Crescent City.