Firstly, let me just say do not, repeat, do not go out of your way to travel along Illinois Highway 38 no matter how scenic your map tells you it is. It is not scenic, it is historic because it is part of the first transamerican road for automobiles and is known as, inter alia, The Main Street of America.
Now to the Rugby. Firstly, The Churchll Cup has arrived in Chicago, a mere day before me and on Saturday, a Rugby fest awaits.
Secondly, and much more importantly, the mighty Millwall Rugby Club has a new committee and one that instills hope in the most jaded souls. The reason for this is that (for me, anyway) it contains Rugby men (and woman), something that (for me anyway) we'd been lacking for a number of years.
There are many reasons why this committee should gird your loins with vigour, (and I don't mean that type of vigour, Mr Ward). Going from the top down, consider Mr Costin nobly reprising his role as Chairman. OK, you might be thinking that it's about time he got out of the road and it is, but presumably no-one else fancies the role and as a last resort, he's not the worst option. A quick word to his Committee colleagues - get to the free eats first. Then we have the sartorially challenged Big Vic at Secretary (it's safe for me to say that, I'm in Chicago, just don't try this at home). Big Vic's physio has been trying for years to convince him to rest his ankle and the opportunity to sit down at numerous Committee meetings is just what the Doctor ordered. Plus, he can spell. Let's hope that he can read the RFU's regulations too. That way we might avoid any more unfortunate (you have no idea how difficult it was not to write Stupid there)breaches.
Moving swiftly on to our Treasurer, Mr Leftley. This one's a little odd, I've never met anyone willing to trust an Australian with money before and, together with Mr Costin, he's bound to increase Committee Trough expenses. His aptitude for hoovering up International Tickets with his "Volunteer hours" (gag, vomit) might spell trouble for those hoping to bag a spot at Twickenham this year, especially if he increases Raffle Ticket costs. Also, he borrowed a tie off me last year and it still hasn't been returned, but let's look on the bright side. He maintains, vociferously, his Englishness and is, therefore, trustworthy. He's a nice chap and he works in a bank.
This brings us to the First Team Manager, Steve 'Crazy Horse' Fleming. The nickname's interesting, either it's to celebrate his penchant for galloping upfield, ball in hand, like a headless goat or something happened on Tour that, should stay on Tour, but will be universally known by Friday. This critical position requires someone that knows the game of Rugby and can play it. Ignoring the sense of impetuosity, on both counts we can count ourselves lucky.
The Second Team manager needs no introduction. He'll have already done that himself. His Rugby skills and knowledge need no praising from anyone, they're that obvious. His attempts at Alpha Malery may be laughable but that shouldn't stop you from appreciating his obvious intellect and wicked sense of humour. He'll need both in Spades as the heir to Miss Dipper's Llamas.
The Third Team Manager's, heretofore unknown, ability to drive will be crucial this year.
At last, we arrive at the Social Secretary. This year's pick has had me chuckling to myself as soon as I found out who it was. Mr Ward, bless you. If this year's Social events aren't the most interesting, funny, and well attended events in our short history, I'll eat one of Mr Costin's hats. The more career minded amongst you will want to avoid the Tutu and Leather night, no matter how harmless Mr Ward says it is.
Oops, I've forgotten about the Club Captain. Mr Eason is a Prop and knows how to enjoy himself.
He remains a bit of a mystery to me having only been here a year but I did see him in Dubai so he can't be all bad.
Ditto, Ruth Evans, but good job anyway.
Finally, to our fixture Secretary, Miss Dipper. Yes I know, but let's face it. Miss Dipper is our best Referee by quite some margin and can be counted on to wear a tie on Saturdays. His Rugby pedigree is well known and he, some might say, is the best 7 ever to put on a Millwall jersey. He is also a quiz whizz, best known for knowing within 3 miles an hour, the quickest speed ever attained on a bicycle (167 miles an hour by the fantastically named Fred Rompelberg - Dutchman). Miss Dipper's diplomatic skills will stand him in good stead when confronted with the intransigence of his opposite numbers and the comrades at Victoria Park.
And so, as you gird your loins ready to drive into next week, anyone fooish enough to try to stop the march of Millwall Rugby Club to another inevitable division title, rest assured that the majority of this committee have, had and will be doing exactly the same thing. They know who you are.
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